Saturday, April 25, 2009

Waiting is not so bad

Most other families seem to be waiting with gritted teeth and high anxiety. Not us. This actually isn't so bad.

Yes, I wish Yun Gui would get to us before he gets any older. Yes, I want him home just so that he can be home. I want to get to know every little detail about him. I want a million uncertainties to end. I want my family together in one place.

But I know it will happen. I know everyone has to wait like we're waiting.

I know he's thriving in the orphanage. It's not an ideal place to grow up, but it's not a hellhole either. His caregivers are doing their best. He has warm clothes and colorful toys and attentive nurses who make sure he's fed and watch his progress.

I'm worried about his health, but I'll get him the medical care he needs when I have him. There's no point in panicking before that.

I wish the renovations were done so I could start assembling his bedroom, but they're not so I can't. I'm not panicking over that, either. I go upstairs and talk to the foreman every day that he's here, so he knows exactly what's on my mind. He knows all about Yun Gui.

Besides, Yun Gui will probably sleep in our room - maybe even our bed, if he has initial trouble sleeping alone - whether his bedroom is ready or not.

I'm not done getting the poison ivy out of the yard. It needs to be completely gone before he comes home. Unfortunately I need to wait for it to sprout before I can see what's dead and gone, and what's still alive.

It's squirrel season at Cape Wildlife Center. I'm doing 3 shifts per week, plus I'm now on call. It's hard to be on call with a baby. Maybe even impossible.

Also, I'm just not an anxious person. I can manage a good state of anxiety for a week or two, but then I get resistant. Things will come when they come. I'm not idle; I have a lot of little things to do. I've waited 7 or 8 years for parenthood; another month or two won't kill me.

Tomorrow Yun Gui will be 13 months old. In another 31 days, he'll be 14 months. I probably won't have him by then, but I might have him by 15 months, or 16 months, or at the very worst, 17 months. (18 months brings us into September, something I'm firmly hoping to avoid.)

Okay, so, not so bad.


  1. Hello! I just stumbled on your blog, and am another Xingfu Mommy! I had to laugh when you wrote about finishing the room for your little one. We finished Maia's room almost a year before she came home, and she's sleeping in our bed anyhow! It's funny how we were so determined to finish her room, but she rarely goes in there anyway:) I cant' wait to see your journey to China in a few months. It was absolutely the most amazing experience of our lives, and I know you'll be so blessed.

  2. I second your thoughts about waiting, I have decided that I can torture myself and still nothing will move any quicker,or enjoy the hourne. I am choosing to enjoy the journey All the Best__Kate

  3. That should say enjoy the journey LOL KAte.

  4. Hi Wuxi Mommy! I am now following you. I'm reading your whole journal now. Maia is so cute!Kate, it won't be long now... when we look back, we'll see that it was hardly any time at all. It just feels long when our minds have time to race.