I think I've reached a waiting stage in which I flail around helplessly. Metaphorically speaking, that is. I'm a mental sandbag. I'm playing too much solitaire.
The up side is that I'm not inclined to stick around if there's any conversation that annoys me. I have no tolerance for drama. Walking away is easier.
The down side is that I've been snippy, moody, and impatient with people. Maybe my impatience stems from having to be sooooo patient with adoption paperwork. I'm not sure I understand something or other, or I can't reach someone on the phone, or I understood something incorrectly and have my hopes dashed, or one person says 'urgency!' and the next person is being slow.
So maybe I hold my tongue about things that matter, and then I let loose on things that don't.
I'm baking a cake for Yun Gui's birthday and bringing it to the next Waiting Families meeting. We have never been to a Waiting Families meeting. They've been canceled due to weather, canceled due to Kazakhstan, postponed for various reasons, or combined with unrelated events. Twice we had other obligations. Maybe more than twice.
I hope we can make this one. I'm fixated on this cake. Yun Gui should have his first birthday celebrated.
I'm such a bundle of conflicting emotions, it's almost like I'm pregnant. :)